Time to tickle your funny bone

We can all use a good laugh, and "LifeTimes" editors hope these "word plays" do just that for you. And if you have any to share with others, send them along; we'll run another piece using them. But first, enjoy these (and groan if you must):

• A bicycle can't stand alone. It is two-tired.
• A hungry clock goes back four seconds.
• Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
• A will is a dead give-away.
• A calendar's days are numbered.
• A boiled egg is hard to beat.

Do you think our "word plays" so far are a tad too
simple (-minded)? Maybe this next batch will give you a bit more to think about:

• If you jump off a bridge in Paris, you are in Seine.
• The plumpest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He got that way from too much pi.
• A soldier who survives pepper spray and mustard gas is a seasoned veteran.
• I wondered why the basketball kept getting bigger and bigger. Then it hit me!
• I thought I spotted an eye doctor on an Alaskan island. Not so. It was just an optical Aleutian.
• The two silk worms ran a race, but they ended up in a tie.

Enough! Enough, you say? Then remember to send us your (better?) favorites for the next go-round. Email us at LifeTimesDepartment@bcbsil.com or address your postcard or letter to: "LifeTimes" Word Plays, Blue Cross and Blue Shield of Illinois, 300 E. Randolph Street, 36th Floor, Chicago, IL 60601-5099.